So lately I've been slacking off. I don't know how to exactly explain it, but I have been having a hard time feeling like I want to be at school. I'm not talking about the average teenage angst that accompanies high school, I'm talking about wanting to skip classes, wanting to shirk assignments. This is not common for me, but I have felt the sad decline to apathy.
Here's the problem, I want to go to medical school, it is a dream of mine to be able to help people in a way that only a select few can. I want to be able to curb the pain, to help heal the world, and lift the broken. I want to be a tool for God to become hope again. I want that to be who I am.
Just one problem, I don't want to do the work to get there. I want to be, but not to become. I want to reach the destination but not enjoy the journey. Yes, I know, this is the wrong way to see it, but that doesn't change how I feel. What will change how I feel about it is changing my attitude about it.
I recently read something that I really enjoyed. These wise words from President Uchtdorf were strikingly personal this last week. I wish I had listened better during conference, but I am glad that I found it regardless.
This has taught me a few things,
1) Regrets can and will come. It's not something that has to determine who we are or who we will be. The important thing is to learn from the past, to let it be the text book that will lead us to a better life. We need to refocus our memories from a regret to a revelation.
2)Understand your priorities. I don't know how many of you know, but I'm married to a wonderful woman. She is ambitious, hard working, and at times easily distracted. Getting our schedules synced up isn't always as just setting aside time. She, enjoying spontaneity much more often during our free time than I, has taught me that you don't have to plan everything to the tee. What needs to be done is having the time together and letting some things fall by the wayside sometimes. Know why you're doing what you are, and be ok with refocusing your priorities sometimes.
3)Enjoy the journey. A lot of people have said this, and I add my witness. We can choose to enjoy our time. While being on a date with Kaili has always been enjoyed, a lot of the time we most enjoy our conversations in the car. An example that I am happy to share is that one day, after a bit of a disagreement and a lengthy discussion that kept us longer than I would've liked, Kaili and I were on our way to a cabin. It's roughly an hour drive, and this drive could have been very painful. My thought was that things would get better when we started doing something. "When we get up there, I will be able to unwind and know that we're enjoying our time," was my thought. The trip, after one quick stop, was one of the best conversations I've had with her ever. We refocused our attitudes to enjoy the trip.
So back to me and school. I've had my eye on a few tablets that I've been saving up for. I've thought "if only I had this tool, or that tool, I would be able to do SO much more." Although the statement might be true, it doesn't mean I would be doing more to help me become a doctor, I very well might just be doing more of the same lazy old things. It doesn't matter how I do something (on paper, laptop, or anything else), it matters why I do something. When I can refocus again, and enjoy school, my "why" will be because I enjoy it, and my tools no longer distract me as a shiny object, but rather refocus me further, onward toward my goal.
-Manere Acutus
Here's the problem, I want to go to medical school, it is a dream of mine to be able to help people in a way that only a select few can. I want to be able to curb the pain, to help heal the world, and lift the broken. I want to be a tool for God to become hope again. I want that to be who I am.
Just one problem, I don't want to do the work to get there. I want to be, but not to become. I want to reach the destination but not enjoy the journey. Yes, I know, this is the wrong way to see it, but that doesn't change how I feel. What will change how I feel about it is changing my attitude about it.
I recently read something that I really enjoyed. These wise words from President Uchtdorf were strikingly personal this last week. I wish I had listened better during conference, but I am glad that I found it regardless.
This has taught me a few things,
1) Regrets can and will come. It's not something that has to determine who we are or who we will be. The important thing is to learn from the past, to let it be the text book that will lead us to a better life. We need to refocus our memories from a regret to a revelation.
2)Understand your priorities. I don't know how many of you know, but I'm married to a wonderful woman. She is ambitious, hard working, and at times easily distracted. Getting our schedules synced up isn't always as just setting aside time. She, enjoying spontaneity much more often during our free time than I, has taught me that you don't have to plan everything to the tee. What needs to be done is having the time together and letting some things fall by the wayside sometimes. Know why you're doing what you are, and be ok with refocusing your priorities sometimes.
3)Enjoy the journey. A lot of people have said this, and I add my witness. We can choose to enjoy our time. While being on a date with Kaili has always been enjoyed, a lot of the time we most enjoy our conversations in the car. An example that I am happy to share is that one day, after a bit of a disagreement and a lengthy discussion that kept us longer than I would've liked, Kaili and I were on our way to a cabin. It's roughly an hour drive, and this drive could have been very painful. My thought was that things would get better when we started doing something. "When we get up there, I will be able to unwind and know that we're enjoying our time," was my thought. The trip, after one quick stop, was one of the best conversations I've had with her ever. We refocused our attitudes to enjoy the trip.
So back to me and school. I've had my eye on a few tablets that I've been saving up for. I've thought "if only I had this tool, or that tool, I would be able to do SO much more." Although the statement might be true, it doesn't mean I would be doing more to help me become a doctor, I very well might just be doing more of the same lazy old things. It doesn't matter how I do something (on paper, laptop, or anything else), it matters why I do something. When I can refocus again, and enjoy school, my "why" will be because I enjoy it, and my tools no longer distract me as a shiny object, but rather refocus me further, onward toward my goal.
-Manere Acutus
No comments:
Post a Comment