Standing Up for Standing Out

I recently got back from a leadership camp where I got to be a peer mentor. As I walked through the almost surreal experience, meeting new people, making countless friends, and building lasting relationships (hopefully). It was a great time. I hope that it becomes a habit of mine.

But I guess the biggest point I want to make is that there was this atmosphere of "we are all new here, so lets meet each other." The uniting force of loneliness was something that brought all of us together, brought down awkward barriers and allowed social faux pas. You could go up to someone who you had met yesterday, tell them you had completely forgotten their name, ask for it, and go on like you were friends. Ask them about their ambitions, about their hopes and desires. You could confide in them some of your dreams, allow enthusiastic behavior to flow, and just be friendly.

Why then does being friendly supply such a fear and provide such criticism? Whether it's the junior high "cool table" to the college clubs, to the rivals between universities, there is an attitude of "we are who we are and you are you, don't mess with this system." Why is there such exclusion? Why is there such a fear of reaching out of our bubble and going to see what is on the other side of the fence? Why don't we explore more? I believe it comes down to one main cause with two opposite reactions, the inability to accept personal imperfections.

I believe that we are shy because we see our weaknesses better than any one else. We tend to want to cover that weakness and seem as though we are very close to perfect.When we reach out and try to make new friends, we risk the chance for rejection and what may seem to us like public embarrassment, and we don't want to go through that. We don't feel comfortable risking that.

On the other hand, when we have a group we feel comfortable in, we like the predictability that comes with it. We like their acceptance of us despite our weaknesses. The fact that they either see our weakness and accept us regardless, they are blind to our weakness, or they understand and share our weakness and so we are comfortable with them. When another tries to join however, we don't like the unpredictability they bring. We don't enjoy how they might stir the waters with their opinion of our weakness. So we fall into a defensive exclusionary attitude because we are afraid they won't accept our weakness.

I think the only cure in this is the acceptance of our weaknesses. When I say acceptance, I don't mean that we stop trying to better ourselves, rather that we become comfortable with the idea that we don't need to be perfect now, rather we need to progress towards perfection. We worry less about the comments people make on our present weak state and accept that we will one day progress to a better life. We set goals and do better for ourselves, not because of the criticisms of others. We stop trying to impress others by covering our weaknesses. When this happens, we are more capable of reaching out to other to include them in our group because we know that although we have a weakness, we're working on it, and it will get better. We accept them with their weaknesses because we understand our own.

We feel more comfortable venturing outside of our click of friends to meet others. Our weaknesses no longer hinder us to stay reserved and isolated. We are able to make lasting friendships and enjoy the life that is far too short.

So I'm going to get back to the beginning, I got to meet a lot of people, I made a lot of friends (even though I forgot names almost on a constantly) and they were ok with it. They did not exact perfection, and neither did I. We enjoyed the company on the road to perfection that we are all on.

A weakness is not a custom made fault, rather a customary growth point. Don't let the points of growth you have right now hinder you from growing with others.

Take Time to Accomplish

Daily routine: Wake up to the alarm blaring and wanting to hit the snooze. Get ready for the day, heading out with a piece of toast for breakfast so you aren't late to school/work. Get home and take care of the chores around the house, do homework (hopefully). Eat a big dinner because lunch was likely skipped. Spend too much time socializing digitally. Crawl into bed and slip into the oblivion of sleep.

This sounds all too common for many people I'm sure. All of those things need to be done yes, but no one really likes the feeling of following a routine that they would rather change. So where is the time for accomplishments? A wise man stated how the successes of tomorrow depend upon the accomplishments of today. So what is a personal accomplishment that we've had today.

Here's mine for the day, I read a lot of my homework so I'm ahead in a class, and I was able to exercise to feel good. Today, I did not earn an A, but I took some time and worked towards it. I didn't break my work out max, but I worked towards it. We don't have to change the world every day of our lives. That would just be way too crazy; but there are simple things we can do on a daily basis that give us a sense of accomplishment that helps. How many of us have the intention to go to the gym but realize we don't have time to get there? That's very common, but we can all do something to exercise in our own homes. That is an accomplishment.

Now, there is a difference I believe in accomplishing something and having a great success. I believe a great success is getting a job you've been searching for, an accomplishment would be turning in the application that gets you considered in the first place. A success would be getting an A on the mid term that nobody wants to take, accomplishing something would be setting aside half an hour each day to study for it. I believe that we have less control over our successes, but complete control over our accomplishments. A success would be making it through the hardest trial of your life, your accomplishments would be putting one foot in front of the other through the refining fire.

So take time to realize the accomplishments you have, realize what you're accomplishing today, even if it was a day of complete failures. We don't need to get the job in order to work towards one, we don't need an A in order to learn, and we don't need to see the light at the end of the tunnel to push forward. We can look back on a day of routines, something we just do everyday, and we can find a moment or two to accomplish something. We can set aside 10 minutes to clean our room but the house doesn't need to be spotless. We can read a chapter in a book we enjoy, but we don't need to finish it today.

We need to have priorities yes, and there are things with a deadline, but for the things that aren't planned, the things we want to do, we can always find a moment or two to slow down, enjoy life, and accomplish something.

Never live today in a way that it reflects yesterday so perfectly you can't tell the difference. Treat the day as a new day of opportunities and adventures.

Silent Serenity

Driving seems to always be done with the radio. Ignoring the content often times heard unwantingly, I'm going to just talk about the mind droning effects that endless music can have on me.

I'm not saying that music is bad, but it's getting to the point when even on my hikes, someone is plugged in somehow to the music around us. The magic of ipods, 4-G cell phones, and endless topics relating to music I have has created a sense of sleep that I never wake up from. I'm always living the life of someone else through their music, then I try to model my life after that. That is the danger I think has crept into music. Think about it, how often do we "plug in" and "tune out" in life. We are wasting our lives to the events of another person's life. For some reason, that rubs me wrong.

What's wrong with spending a few moments in silence? Asking the question "what do I think about when I'm not influenced in my thoughts?" is oftentimes very difficult for people to answer. Music influences our thoughts, and just gives us "something else" to think about. We don't have to worry about our lives or our problems, just the problems or lives of another person for the next three or four minutes. So silence, driving in silence is actually very different. Not many like doing it because it makes them think about something that they wouldn't otherwise think about.

Are we afraid of silence? I don't think so. I think silence is a very good thing for us, that it has been and will always be that way when embraced. So there's my challenge, listen to the silent thoughts we have when we are driving by ourselves for just a short time. Sounds good right?

It's often the silence in our souls that screams louder than the chaos in the streets.

Purpose

I started a blog from another account a while ago, and after discovering how much I enjoyed blogging, I stopped blogging for some reason. So I started this account and I think it's really going to be something that is going to help me enjoy my life a little bit more.

This blog is made more for me to put my thoughts down on something and to have a healthy release in a few things. One big thing that I have really stopped doing is keeping a journal, and so I feel like my life is slipping away a few days at a time. So this is my Journal. <-- I thought I'd make that look all pretty and stuff.

So I've been have a lot of thoughts and I have really enjoyed just the ability to think, but then I look and I don't ever write anything down, so I burn myself in the end for not doing that. So having said that, to anyone who follows this, these are my thoughts, some may be abstract and might not make a ton of sense to you. That's ok, like I said, this is more for me than for you. Feel free to ask questions and clarifications on a few things if you want to though, I might respond if I think I should.


Thinking has become a joy when you don't have to find an end to the thought, but neither is it irrelevant. This is what makes a quite moment become a journey of self-discovery.